Today marks a big day in my life....a day that I truly never thought would come. A day that wouldn't have come had Kennedy not been a part of my life. It could be viewed as a joyous event...yet sad given the reason behind it. But it's still an anniversary no matter how you look at it. It's been a year. One year since I started this blog. 92 posts and 120 followers later....and I'm still here. I'm still writing. I'm still reading. I'm still commenting. I'm still grieving.
I never, ever would have thought in a million years that I would become a part of the blogging community. But then again, I never thought I would become a part of the baby loss community. When I sat down to write 365 days ago, I did not know what my intentions would be. All I knew is that I wanted to write. I wanted to share what I was feeling somewhere. I didn't know who would read or what comments would come out of it. But I knew it was something I had to do....just like support group or grief counseling was something I had to do. Since then, I have shared more here than I have shared with many that have been part of my "real life" for the past 29 years. This has been my sanctuary. My place to just pour my heart out and know it's okay. It's been my place to grieve for my little girl and to not be judged that it's time to "move on." I have been given affirmation of "no timeline," "no expectations," and "no judgment." I have been supported and loved. I am viewed as a mother.
My beautiful daughter, Kennedy, has been remembered. She has been thought of, prayed for, and celebrated. When her name is said or seen she is recognized as a human life. A little girl. A daughter. A child. I cannot begin to thank you enough for that. As I wrote to a fellow BLM a few days ago, just the thought of someone saying her name or thinking of her, means more to me than any gift or prize. My daughter is "realer" to me when I can share her with all of you.
I am amazed at what you all have given me. Without this blog, I wouldn't have been motivated to start my own Face2Face social group. Or be in the process of starting "A Walk to Remember" in Madison in October. I wouldn't have people who live "literally" all over the world who I would call my friends. Friends who I feel closer to than some of my "IRL" friends that I have had for years. It has been a year of growth. A year of progress. A year of change. And a year of hope. Thank you for your friendship, your tears, your words, and your hope. I am who I am today because of Kennedy. But I am also who I am today because of you.
I would really like to do a giveaway of some sort in honor of this day...but since it has kind of caught me off guard, I'm not ready to do so just yet. Please check back throughout this week as I gather my thoughts to think of an appropriate giveaway given the celebration. Sending much love and hugs to you all always....
Alissa
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