A Wish Upon a Star

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

Is this really the thought process that we should be teaching our young?  That when you look out on a star and make a wish, your dreams will come true.  I feel like I have done that.  Many times even.  Yet, I sit here tonight and wonder where those dreams went.  Did they really come true?  Or am I still waiting?  Maybe the song should have had a timeline with it.  I mean, when Jiminy Cricket sang it on Pinocchio, it almost happened instantly for Pinocchio.  He wanted to be a real boy.  And he became one.  I don't really remember much time in between him wishing for that and then it happening.  Yes, there were some tumultuous activities to get there.... but still, at the end of the movie, there was a happy ending.  This happens in every movie.  A happy ending.  The goofy guy gets the girl.  The princess falls in love with the Beast who is really a prince.  The kid gets the dog.  The comeback player wins the game.  the waitress wins the lottery and starts her own business.  You name it.  It happens. 

If my life was a movie and it ended with where my life was now, what would people say?  What would the reviewers think?  Would it have to end with "To be continued...."  Kind of like Harry Potter.  The producers have yet to figure out where this story is going to go, but this one movie isn't good enough to end like this just yet.  So, let's keep the audience thinking and hope that things get better. 

That's really all I can wish for right now.  My wish on my star would be that things will turn around.  That things will get better.  Maybe I'll even be okay using the cliche, "This too shall pass."  I have to believe in something. 

I'm pretty low right now, but I'm desperately trying to stay busy.  I am dreaming.  Thinking.  Doing.  But despite all of that, I can't shake the feeling that I've hit a new depth to my grief again.  I'm crying during fireworks.  Having trouble falling asleep.  I don't want to spend time with people outside those that know all about what's going on in my life.  I don't really even want to talk about the way I'm feeling, so I come here instead.  I'm putting up a major front for all.  I want to be strong.  Resilient.  Tough.  But inside, I'm melting. 

I am still finding time for myself and doing things that I enjoy.  But my body is worn out by the end of the night if I've been with people all day long.  I haven't had the time to reflect and think about things.  And the then the night comes.  The night leads to thinking.  Maybe too much.  Sometimes I wish my brain would just shut off.  Take a break.  Let me be. 

I wonder if that should be my wish to the star instead.  The wish for my brain to just relax.  Let things be.  Patience. Wait and see how the second movie pans out.  And maybe there will even be a third?  Oooh, a trilogy....how exciting.  Exciting...hmmm...interesting choice of words.  Guess we'll just have to hang tight, have faith and believe.  

Like a bolt out of the blue

Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true