100+ followers Giveaway

I can't believe how many days it's been since I posted about reaching 100 followers...and now I sit at 104. I promised a giveaway in honor of reaching that mark, and yet I still haven't posted anything. I am beyond apologetic for making a promise and then not following through.

So, in honor of reaching the hallowed mark of 100 and to make up for the lost time without posting a giveaway, I have decided to give away, not 1, but 2 prizes for this giveaway. After some long debate, I realized that I needed to find something to give away that was connected to what my followers mean to me. I had to figure out how to connect the stories and support of those who read my story and comment to something that has also helped me heal and grieve. After some help from a friend, I realized that one particular item that has helped me heal has been reading books by fellow babyloss mamas and/or people who have experienced loss or simply understand it better than others.

One book in particular that holds a special place in my heart is Knocked Up, Knocked Down by Monica Murphy LeMoine. In a recent post titled Somewhere to Belong, I had written about the "realness" of this writer and the connectedness I felt when reading her story. As a fellow blog writer herself, the author really knew what I needed to hear and how to make me feel less alone. She helped me have a place to belong and someone to belong with. This is what all my followers have done for me also. I know how much I hate that we are on this journey together, but honestly, there is no one I would rather be on it with. You all are so wonderful....and I am beyond blessed by you and what you have done to help me.

The 2nd option for a winner will be the book, Tear Soup, by Pat Schweibert and Chuck DeKlyen. This book was lent to me from my grief counselor early on after the loss of my daughter. This book was written specifically for grief after the loss of a baby, yet the loss felt very much the same. It's written from the eyes of Grandy, an elderly woman, who has experience a loss of some kind, although you are never actually sure whom she grieves for. Yet, as you read Grandy's story, she validates grief and she validates the time essence of grief. She and the authors make you feel that it's okay to "make tear soup" for as long as you need. This is another similarity to my followers. You have all validated me. You have made me feel important and loved. You have respected the time it has taken me....and continue to support me no matter what. I am eternally grateful to you for doing that. It's been a huge help to me.

So, please, comment on this post if you are interested in winning either one of these books to help you on your journey. Knocked Up, Knocked Down will make you laugh and to cry all in the same chapter and help you realize that we do get better....and things will get easier....yet never the same. Tear Soup will help you and others appreciate your grieving time. It will make you realize that there is no time limit to what you are feeling. Either one is a good choice and have definitely been huge supports to me...and I cannot wait to share one of them with you. Please indicate which book you would prefer when commenting. Thank you again. ((hugs))

*Winners will be chosen by February 12th, 2011.*

Thank you, my friends

"You were the one who made things different, you were the one who took me in. You were the one thing I could count on, above all, you were my friend."
- Tom Petty

This morning, the day after I wrote one of my most honest posts, I woke up to some beautiful and heartfelt comments from my lovely friends. And to my surprise, 100 followers. First off, I want to tell you that the goal of my blog was never to reach 100 people....my goal of this blog was to find people I could connect with who had been through a similar experience. I needed an outlet to share with others how I was feeling...how I was grieving...and how was I dealing. I needed people to tell me that things were going to be "ok." Even that "ok" was a "good-enough" kind of feeling. That's what my goal was. And it has been accomplished in so many ways and more.

This blog has allowed me to share something that many in my real life never really got to know....my daughter, Kennedy. I can talk about Kennedy and share the love I hold in my heart for her more openly here, with my grief counselor or in my support groups than I can with anyone else in my life. Yet, unlike my grief counselor or support group, there is no time limit. I can write whenever I want for as long as I want. And, more than likely, someone will listen (read) and respond.

This blog has also allowed me to "find myself" in a variety of different ways. I have always loved to write....but I really didn't do much of it until now. And every time I write, I can write about the one person that means most to me, my daughter. What a gift that is. I feel like I can be more open....and honest here. I can talk to people who truly get me for me. There are no comments of "When will the old Alissa be back?" or "Why is she so different?" from any of you. You take me as I am. And I truly am blessed because of that.

So, to my 100 followers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I only wish that I could thank you all personally...with a "real" hug or gift. I am so amazed at your generosity, your support, and your love, that sometimes it brings me to tears that you are all a part of my life. Kennedy gave you to me. And as always, I am indebted to her in all she has given to me in the short time she was on Earth. But I am also indebted to you. I hope that I can be as supportive of you all on your journeys as you have been to me. In the next week, I hope to be holding a giveaway in honor of my 100 followers. Still working on the details of that, though. Thank you again, my friends. Sending my love to you always.

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."
- Dave Matthews Band

"Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long, 'til I'm going to need somebody to lean on."
- "Lean On Me"