My wish to a butterfly

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"Whisper a wish to a butterfly and it will fly up to Heaven and make it come true" . I saw this on Fran's site, Small Bird Studio, and just had to add it to Kennedy's site. I have yet to find out where or if this necklace or ornament is made somewhere, but I will be in search of finding someone who could make this for me. I'm also looking for where this quote is from. It's absolutely beautiful...and made me cry thinking about all the butterflies I saw this summer knowing that they symbolized my connection to my little butterfly in heaven.

The one wish I would send to Heaven is to hear those sweet words, "Mommy," coming from my little girl's mouth. That's it...sounds simple...but so difficult. I cannot wait until the day that I can be with my little girl again and, hopefully, hear those beautiful words that make it known to the world that I am a Mom. A Mommy to a beautiful little angel in Heaven. (sigh)

A birthday celebration sent to Heaven

October 22nd, 2010 turned out to be a beautiful day in Madison, Wisconsin. The angels must have been looking down on us and smiling knowing that Kennedy's mom, dad and grandparents wanted a special day to honor their little girl in Heaven. We couldn't have asked for a more perfect day to honor and remember our sweet little butterfly. The only thing that could have made it better is if she would have physically been there with us, but we are learning to accept that Kennedy was needed in another place. We all look forward to the day when we can be with her again. Happy heavenly birthday, Kennedy Kate. Hugs and kisses to you always.

Here are many of the pictures of the birthday celebration for Kennedy.
It really turned out beautiful.

Kennedy's Grandma Gigi had made an early stop at the memorial park to leave some special things for her that day. Kennedy even has her own little cupcake at her headstone where we can leave special notes for her now.

Kennedy Kate, We Love You Forever!

Kennedy's daddy writing her a letter on her heavenly birthday.

Kennedy's Grandma Gigi making sure her balloons are tied on tight to her
new butterfly stand.

Mommy writing Kennedy a letter now.

Mommy's letter to her baby in Heaven.

Kennedy's mommy and daddy making sure the letters are tied tightly to the balloons. Making sure they will make it all the way to Heaven.

A couple last photos before the balloons are sent up to Kennedy.

Making sure we get far enough away from the trees to safely let the balloons go...

Happy Heavenly Birthday, little Kennedy Kate. Here are some balloons sent up to you for your birthday celebration in Heaven.

The balloons almost didn't make it there...

There they go...Love you, baby girl.

"Kennedy's Korner" (still a work in progress)

A beautiful picture that one of Mommy's friends from support group made for her. Thank you, Oliver's mommy.

Kennedy's candle from Audrey's mommy, Michelle. It is so beautiful.

Some of the butterfly cupcakes that Mommy made....
Grandma Gigi and Daddy helped decorate.

Look at all of the wonderful cards from people that remembered Kennedy's
heavenly birthday. Thank you so much!

Kennedy's special chest full of mementos and cards from Kennedy's life.

Grandma Gigi and Grandpa Jon found this beautiful quilt for me for Kennedy's heavenly birthday. It's absolutely perfect.

First time blogger

Today is the first day of my blog... I have debated creating one for awhile now after spending the past four months reading blogs of other mothers, but I was never sure if it was for me. However, I have always enjoyed writing and now, more than ever, I have thoughts that I want to share. I am not, by any means, the most open person, and I think most of my life I have spent time listening to others rather than sharing what I feel. Believe me, I let people know what I think...when it comes to politics, beliefs, education, etc., but to truly know me is probably very much a mystery to all. And although, I still am unsure of how much I am willing to share on this blog, it has given me an opportunity to share and give insight to a recent, tragic event that occurred in my life about seven months ago now. Because seven months ago, I became a different person. Seven months ago, part of me flew away with my little butterfly, Kennedy. Seven months ago, I knew that my life would never be the same. Seven months ago, my baby's heart stopped beating. Seven months ago, my baby died.

10/2009: My little angel: Kennedy Kate's heart was not found beating on 10/22/2009. On 10/29/2009, Kennedy's body was taken from mine.

Dear sweet baby girl,
Your momma misses you so much everyday. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here with me. If you had been born on your due date, you would be 2 and a half months old. I cannot believe you were taken from me, and sometimes I still feel like I'm in a nightmare. I just want to wake up and go back to October. I want to wake up and hear you crying. I want to wake up and see your smiling face. You were my world, Kennedy. I would do anything for you. I am your momma, and I am supposed to protect and take care of you better than anyone. I didn't do that, and because of that, I feel like a failure. No doctor or counselor can tell me that it just wasn't meant to be. They can't tell me that you were too sick. It doesn't matter. I want to be with you. I'm supposed to be with you. That's the way it's supposed to work. I'm supposed to go first...not you. I'm angry, confused and hopeless a lot of the time now, Kennedy. I don't know how to make things better. I can only hope that things will turn around. That the nightmare will stop and that faith and love will pull me through.
I love you, my angel baby. Please be happy.
Love,
Your mommy